A Chance to Breathe

I have been pretty uninspired lately. I have been meaning to write a blog, but haven't felt that I had anything actually worth writing about. Even my journal entries have been especially boring.

At the brink of 2009 I could only think how I wasn't quite ready for another year to begin. I know it's not really any great colossal change--just the next day arriving, really. But I always feel sentimental at the close of a year, as if I am shutting a door I won't ever open again and rushing off into some new adventure. 2008 was a full, full year for me: I graduated, got married, moved to Nashville, started a new job, then another, became Episcopalian, joined a new church. It was a beautiful, happy year. It was bursting with love and sweetness, newness, joy and adventure. (Joy and adventure are what Dr. Cotton wished John and me at our wedding, and we have certainly had our fair share of both.) It was a difficult year, too. I cried a lot. I missed Florida and my family and being a student. I still do. But I have so loved being married--waking up next to someone who loves me unbelievably well, having tea, going for walks, grocery shopping, decorating, cooking, watching the books stack up in corners, folding laundry, listening to music, just being together. It has been a beautiful 8 months we've shared, and I am so grateful.

I guess 2008 was so full that I felt I needed more time to take it all in before setting off on another year's journey--I am still realizing my life as it is now. My current job is monotonous and predictable enough to allow me to finally settle down after 8 months of tumultuous change, which I am learning to be grateful for. There is little drama involved, so I can finally breathe after these many months of constant change and adjustment. There has been a lull, I suppose--thus my lack of inspiration. I have been given a quiet space to reflect and recognize this new world composed around me so unexpectedly.

Finally, I have a chance to breathe and be present to life as it is now--its routines, dishes in the sink, 6:30 alarm clock wake-up calls, clutter and cleaning, sweet smiles, glorious weekends, unwelcome Mondays, dirty laundry, traffic, dinner-making, hand-holding, and teeth-brushing. Just normal life: nothing much worth writing about, maybe--or maybe the only thing I should be writing about.