All right, all you burgeoning feminists: this one's for you! I have, quite unexpectedly, found the answer to a woman's independence and self-sufficiency. I'm just surprised that Virginia Woolf didn't think of it. Before a high-paying salary, a sense of yourself, and freedom from the demands of patriarchal family life, you only need one thing...
I don't know what its real name is, but I call it the jar gripper opener thingy. You know, the round textured rubber kitchen wonder that enables you to open pickle jars like the Hulk. Yeah, that's what you need, girls. Never again will you need a man to remove the seemingly-cemented jelly jar lid or get that terrible cap off your beer. You can be a free woman. In fact, I opened a window with a broken latch with my own jar gripper opener thingy just the other day. It's a marvel, indeed.
One step at a time, ladies, one step at time. My wrench-wielding, oil-changing, furniture-moving mother would be so proud.
Centered in God, Not in Ourselves
8 years ago
5 comments:
Um, don't you need a bottle opener to remove the cap off a beer? At a recent Linux User Group meeting I attended, I saw a few geeks do it with their teeth, but I don't think I'll be trying that any time soon.
Nope, this kitchen wonder does it all. :)
I have used the said kitchen wonder for years but not once did I associate it with my freedom. You have enlightened me! =)
And this is strange - I have never really needed this sort of kitchen gadget. For some strange reason, I have never really had issue with lid opening. In fact I distinctly remember opening something for one of my friend's dad. I felt like a freak. A helpful freak.
I'm with Rachel, I often open jars for my father and guy friends. (: But I do know what you are talking about, Erica; my grandmother used to make me open jars with those things, because she couldn't stand to think that I could open them without it.
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